Losing You
by Queenizzay
Summary: What will enfold when Sango is sent out to tell Miroku it's Dinner Time? Nothing is as simple as it seems. MS One-shot


Pain shot through every core of his body, every organ when he thought about it. This couldn't be his fate, it wouldn't. He would not allow such a curse to consume him. At first, he'd been slowly coming to terms with his destiny. Miroku knew it was unlikely that he would defeat Naraku before his wind tunnel dragged him in, that wouldn't stop him from trying though. Even after meeting Inuyasha he had his doubts. He knew that when the time came, he would leave them, keeping them from sharing the same fate as he. All of that changed though, once they'd met her. Everything changed because of her. 

"Houshi-sama?" A girl asked, peaking her head around the monk's secret hiding place. "What are you doing behind a bush?" 

"Nothing my dear Sango, simply admiring the view. However, it's not nearly as beautiful as you." He said calmly, looking up at her. He could have sworn he saw a faint blush spread across her cheeks as she adverted her eyes. But that couldn't be... Right? She'd never think of him as anything more then a lecher. That wasn't completely off track, but he'd toned down ever since she'd come into his life. It's not his fault she was so beautiful with such a touchable backside. It called to him. 

"Stop with the flattery Houshi-sama, Kagome just sent me to tell you that dinner was ready. It's ramen, so if you want any, you should get it now before Inuyasha eats it all." 

As Sango turned to leave, Miroku let out a long sigh, one Sango couldn't possibly miss. She did. However, once she'd gotten a few steps away, she remembered what it was Kagome had said. 

"Miroku has missed dinner all week. Get him here before I hit you all with a frying pan! And don't come back without him!" 

This was very un-Kagome-like, and Sango had no idea what a frying pan was. She and Inuyasha had gotten into a particularly violent fight about her going home tomorrow. It ended with the hanyou in the floor and Sango running out of the hut before Kagome napped again. Grumbling, Sango slumped back to Miroku's bush and sat next to him with a sigh. 

"Houshi-sama, are you coming to dinner?" 

"No thank you, I'm not very hungry." 

Sango sighed again. This was just great... She was starving. Looking for jewel shards, fighting, and slapping Miroku took a lot out of a girl! She was about to tell him so, but was cut short when she took a good look at her companion's face. Despite his flirty and perverted antics, he had a very serious look in his eyes. They were out of focus and he was trembling a bit. When he turned his head to look at her briefly, she turned her own away, ashamed to be caught staring. 

"Houshi-sama... Are you all right?" 

"Of course Sango..." Miroku smiled weakly. How could she affect him so much? Just being next to her made him ache to be closer. She'd never see him the same way he saw her though. Sango had the impression that Miroku saw her as a mere toy, something to have fun with... Something she wasn't. Miroku would move heaven and earth to be with the demon exterminator, but as devoted he would be, he knew couldn't, his curse wouldn't allow it. 

"Houshi-sama, you can't hide things from me... Come on, what's wrong? You can tell me." Sango smiled a bit. He tried his hardest to hide what he thought, it didn't work too well on her though. Sango noticed these things, how could she miss them? She couldn't control it, when Miroku was sad, she was sad. When he was upset, she was upset. And when Miroku was hurt, she wanted to die. _Why_ she felt this way, she couldn't place though. Could it be...? 

*_Love_

Love?! 

_Love_

Couldn't be! 

_And why is that?_

__

__Because, I can't fall in love with him! 

_Why not?_

Because 

_Because?_

Because I just can't.* 

Miroku watched, slightly amused and alarmed, as Sango continued her internal battle. He could see the frustration and confusion etched on her face and vaguely wondered what she was thinking about. He let his gaze wander alone the lines of her profile as she sat beside him. 

'So beautiful....' He thought 

*_Why can't you love him?_

__

__Because... Just leave me alone__

__

_You're scared_

Scared? What is there to be scared of? 

_Losing him_

What?__

__

_Your scared of losing him. That's why you won't love him_

... 

...Shut up, What do you know? 

_Everything. I'm the almighty voice. I know everything. Admit it._

There's nothing to admit...__

__

_*sigh* Stop being so stubborn. Look him in the eyes then._

__

__Why would I do that? 

_A) it's romantic. B) You haven't done it since you fell. Look him in the eyes and try to tell yourself you don't love him._

__

__Fine then, I will 

_Fine_

Fine 

_Fine_

__

__Fi- 

_GO!*_

Sango took a deep breath and turned to Miroku, only to find he was already staring at her. Blushing furiously, she was about to look away... but found she couldn't. 

  
_Oh gods..._

Looking in his eyes, she could see everything. The pain he was going through, the worries and doubts. Smiling sadly, she brushed his hair out of his face with her hand and gently laid her head on his shoulder. She sighed and looked up at his stunned face. 

"I know that you're worried... Worried and scared." 

"I am not-" 

"I'm scared too." 

Miroku blinked and stared at her in shock. Sango wasn't exactly one to come out and admit that something was wrong. Sango tended to hold those kinds of emotions in, hidden from the world. _He_ always knew how she was feeling though. He'd heard his father once say: "Your eyes tell a story your lips won't". This was awfully dangerous for Miroku to test out on Sango though... Every time he found himself getting lost. (A/N: woah! This is getting wayyyy off track here... I like it XD) 

"What are you scared of?" Miroku asked quietly, truly curious. 

"Tell you my secrets if you tell me yours." She answered, plucking at the ground. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She never talked to Miroku as openly as she was now... Damn inner voices.... 

"All right." 

"Okay." Sango took a breath and played with a long piece of grass. "I'm scared. I'm scared that we don't defeat him. I'm scared of everyone leaving once it's over. I'm scared of losing my brother." '_Losing you'_ "Okay... Your turn." 

"All right, I am scared. I'm scared of my curse. I'm scared of what will happen because of it. I'm scared of Naraku. I'm scared of the wind tunnel... Most of all... I'm scared of you." 

"Me?!" 

"You." Miroku nodded, "I'm scared of your smile. I'm scared of your eyes, your lips. And above all, I'm scared to lose you." 

Sango gasped softly at this, and Miroku took that moment to bring his head down to hers and capture her lips in a gentle kiss. Sango tensed and her eyes grew wide, _that_ was definitely something she had not been expected. She only came to tell him dinner was ready... How did all _this_ happen? Then again... What did it matter? Feeling his warm lips covering hers, she eased her shoulders, closed her eyes and returned the gesture. Slowly, Miroku pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, letting their breath mingle. 

"Kami, I've wanted to do that for a long time..." 

Sango blushed, "Hous-" Miroku cut her off through, with another soft yet firm kiss, not able to bare hearing her call him that still. Yes, he was a monk, but he was Miroku first, and he wanted to here her say it at least once before he'd leave them all. Thinking of the day he'd have to leave the woman at his side, he started to tremble a bit. (A/N: aww! Miroku-kun! .) He knew it wouldn't be long now. Everyday, the hold grew bigger, not that he could tell the others... They wouldn't let him go. 

"Houshi-sama" Sango gasped, pulling away when she felt him shaking. "Miroku..." She sighed, wrapping her arms around his middle and nestling her head in the crook of his neck. Miroku hugged her close to him, trailing kisses along her neck, something else he'd been wanted to do forever. (A/N: she's so god damn lucky!) 

"I don't want to lose you" He mumbled against her neck, causing her to shudder. 

"Miroku..." Sango breathed, sitting up, "You won't lose me. You won't leave me either." Miroku opened his mouth to argue but Sango hushed him, placing her finger on his lips. "Shh... I won't let you. I swear that if you do I'll never forgive you." 

"But Sango... The Wind tunnel -" 

"I _know_ about the wind tunnel... We'll get Naraku. Don't give me that look! And if we don't... I don't want you to leave me..." 

"Sango, I don't want any of you to-" Sango pressed her lips up against his, swallowing any argument on the subject. Miroku gladly accepted, running his hand through Sango's hair. Sango hesitantly moved her hands up to the back of his head, tugging his hair out of it's hold, tangling her fingers in it. She'd been waiting to do that. She knew he just wanted to protect everyone, and that she was being selfish... She didn't want Miroku to leave though, as much as she hated it, she'd grown to him... She loved him. Hey! The inner voice said it, not me! Anyway... All of that didn't matter right now... All that she was thinking of was how good it felt while Miroku nibbled on her lower lip. (A/N: *sigh... I'm depressed now...) This may have been why she didn't hear the bushes behind them rustle and Shippou's little head pop out. 

"Hey Sango what are you- EWWW!" He cried, covering his eyes, " I'm tellin Kagome!" 

"Shoot!" Sango cursed, smacking her forehead, "Dinner. Kagome sent me to get you." 

"That's all right." Miroku stated, lifting Sango's face up to his, "I'm not very hungry." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

How the hell did I get from Dinner to snogging? O.o.... That's a question for the gods. ANYWAY! Fluffy and romantic enough for you? ^-~ Was for me! *sigh* Not fair... I make Sango have a better love life then I do... Anyone has a better love life then I do... Why? Because I don't have one! -.-; not fair... ANYWAY! Review ^-~ Talk ta meh! o.O The weather, school, personal problems e.e anything..... I'm so bored! 


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